Our families can be our biggest fans, or they can be our worst critics. This episode is about staying You On Purpose with all of the family pressures that can come during the holidays.

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Theresa focuses this episode on the idea that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
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Theresa speaks about being “You on Purpose” without the rules. She found herself being successful whenever she breaks the rules.

She discussed 3 kinds of seamstress, first is being the “Yes” girl where you agree to everybody. To be you on purpose, you must have attention and focus in one thing. Being dedicated and knowing the role you really want to play. Stop being a YES, say no and mean it. Next is the seamstress on a thread mill, following the rules and paying attention to everybody’s expectations, stop doing what you think that everybody expects you to be. Be yourself, never apologize for who you are of what you can’t do. Don’t be like an ostrich. Don’t stick yourself into the sand. Go out from your comfort zone.

Perfect Models, everything you do is perfect. Finally they let lose and not working, it’s falling apart around because you’re trying to be perfect. There is the warrior model that’s battling everyday. Everything is a battle. You battle with people on how they should be and how you should be. Another is the molder model who says “I can’t be me on purpose… because I’m a mom”. You want to mold the people around you according to what you want them to be. Don’t make limitations.

You don’t’ let expectations and competition stop you from being you on purpose. We can live a work where we are happy who and what you are. You are contented and people will be important. Balance your role. Solidify relationship. All relationship will fit together. There are no rules. The how-to manuals are one-size fit all. We should be the designer of our lives setting our own rules.

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If we just follow what our heart says and be the person we really are then we can start our way to our tailored made life. First and foremost, we must know ourselves. Delve into our innermost thoughts and goals. Point out our strengths and hone our skills. Overcome our weaknesses and always look for progress. We must learn how to face failures and consequences. If we handle this with trust, that we will do better next time then comes all the positive things and limitless possibilities that there is to make our dreams and goals into a realization. Let’s stop grabbing control of people and the things that pops up in our path. Being a seamstress is no good at all. The more we try to control things the less control we actually have in life. It will just raise conflicts between you and the people that matter. Give it up. Enjoy the ride of life.

We have to let the ghosts of the past go. We already had that moment in life. No more “Ifs” no more “buts”. Finish the “what might haves” and “could have beens”. You can take a glance but never try to make a step back anymore. Start moving forward. What matter are the ghosts of the present and the future. Being a better person than what you were is like having a guaranteed brighter future you truly deserve. Now we have to deal with the present ghosts we are with. We can begin by being the designer of our own life and stop being a model and wear what others tell us to. Repel the fear to fail. Experience is the best teacher. We learn from them. Cast away the idea of a perfect life. Because if you keep on running and running towards it, the lesser the chances of you to reach your true happiness and success. Embrace changes. Accept the trials and challenges. That way you’ll discover your true self and be a better person and an inspiration to the people around you. Once we established our goals and found our own self then we can now start having right pattern as we go along in life.

It’s like meeting the ghosts of our future, positive and hopeful. The correct path for us will flourish out of the choices we make. We just have to trust ourselves and keep on doing the things that make us happy and of course productive at the same time. Be in the position and do things with love, trust and honesty. Eventually you’ll find yourself having a tailored made life…just for you.

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In this episode, Theresa talks about the vampires that keep you from being You On Purpose.
The first vampire is having an unrealistic expectation. For example, if you’re expecting an extravagant gift from your husband on your birthday and he gave you something simple but meaningful, it will disappoint you because you expected an over-the-top gift. Instead, look at the real gifts he gives even when it’s not your birthday, like love and support. You don’t have to be a model wearing a role to show and brag your “perfect life”. You don’t have to compete. It keeps you from living a tailor made life. Have reasonable and realistic expectations.

The second vampire is very much related to the first vampire. It’s a huge vampire if you don’t take responsibility. You don’t blame others because you have set a high expectation that didn’t happen. Don’t wear a role that you cannot support. Don’t compete with other moms just to show off. That creates conflict. It’s like you’re living by a string. Let go and start living by your means. Be honest with yourself and others. You have to take personal responsibility and do what you have to do.
The third vampire is trying to change and control things that you have no control over. It’s comparable to trying to change the ocean’s water level. Being in seamstress mode, you work and work to bucket out water out of it until you realize that you can’t when you’ve already put a lot of time in to it. Instead, set your priorities so you don’t miss out on your most important roles.

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You’ll never know where your life is going to take you while changes happen as you mature. Just think that it will be a lot of fun. This episode talks about being you on purpose when you really don’t know who you are.
Sometimes being a seamstress is a good thing. Being busy working will give you a lot of time to explore and experience what is out there. If you really don’t know who you are and what you want to be when you grow up, get busy. It’s a good time to be a seamstress for a little while. In being a seamstress you’ll start setting rules and start knowing what’s good for you. It’s not a good time to be a model though because they wouldn’t allow you to be yourself. Being a model and trying to fit in is not going to work.
In the time of being a seamstress, use that to explore. Know who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, your strengths and weaknesses. Use it as a stepping stone. Use it as a testing phase for you to get to know yourself.
The core is learning how to become the designer of your life. As women, we are looking for the roles as we wait of what it’s going to be. In your search of who you are, don’t allow other people to tell you who you are. Just be you. Know yourself. Trust yourself. Explore. Know what you’re able to do, what you enjoy. Let go of the pre-conceived notions. Let go of the notion that a guy is what’s needed to complete you or that your job will tell you who and what you’re going to be. Let go of what other people think you should be. Forge your own little path and look at the possibilities.
Don’t try to be a better person than another person. Nobody can be a better you than you. Competition leads to conflict. And don’t try to control every situation. Don’t force things to happen when they’re going to happen. Sometimes things are going to fold the way they’re going to unfold. Things are going to happen when they are going to happen. We have more control by giving up control. Then you make better decisions. Your core value and personality will always stay the same. Be comfortable. That’s an integral part of knowing yourself.
Being you on purpose is who you are on the inside. It’s not the roles you play. Being the designer of your life means constantly making and designing your life based on the situation that you’re in.
Now is not the time to be a seamstress and a model. We should be out there living our own life and be unique in our way. Now is the time to be the designer of our lives.
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People have witnessed the highs & lows over the centuries and this is a great opportunity for us to bring in the tide. This topic described how being you as a designer of your own life, is important to handle the changes in the economy.

There are 3 ways that we cope up with the changes; by being a seamstress, a model and a designer. People with seamstress behavior are those who are running to the next popular thing and go to wherever the wave is bringing them. A model is too conscious in trying only to look good and not thinking about contributing something worthwhile in the society. Designers are those who create their own idea and are the only ones who are being true to themselves. They are not easily affected of what’s happening around them because they believe they can be different and bring something good in the economy.

The steps in creating you tailored made life is trusting yourself to hold the answer inside of you. Truly knowing yourself and knowing what’s important and not important to you. What really makes up you as a person, what sets you apart from the pact and what will attract them to you.
We should let go of our preconceived notions, make our own pattern that would bring a strong message and start looking for possibilities to this down turn economy.

In choosing a tailor made life, we should see it in three circles. The first one would show what choices we make and the consequences that lies ahead. Second is getting rid of controlling chaos because the more you control and anticipate the more turmoil you get. Third, is choosing the clock for your pyramid life. We should know when and what are the things we need and not to focus on what we want.
Now is not the time to be a seamstress and a model. We should be out there living our own life and be unique in our way. Now is the time to be the designer of our lives.

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Theresa talks about being sexy when you are “You-On-Purpose”. She explains that when you’re comfortable with who and what you are, you’re highly attractive. Not only that you’ll attract people, you’ll attract opportunities and great things. What’s not sexy about being a seamstress? Being busy- too busy, nobody can really connect with you. You’re there for everyone. You’re trying to keep everyone happy that you’re not being you. Like a whirlwind, you can’t be seen and nobody can connect to you. You can’t be sexy if you can’t show who you are, and being a model is no different. There will always be a disconnect between the real you and the role you’re wearing. Like a seamstress, you’re not being yourself. You’re exuding perfection but you’re hollow inside. So, let go of the expectations, pre-conceived notion, fears and worries. Instead, think of the endless possibilities and be yourself. Do not choose a life a full of chaos, consequences and conflict. Now, being a designer, you create a life that is tailor made by living your passion. You know yourself, you show it to others, you know what you don’t like to do, what you really don’t want to be and you use that and you design your life around that. You don’t try to be somebody else. You follow your heart, you’re passionate about things and you live your life the way you think you should live it. You trust yourself that you can handle any situation, even the ugly ones. And there’s nothing sexier than that – being “You On Purpose”.

Theresa talks about how to have a strong relationship with your family, a family team on purpose. She explains how important it is to balance roles in creating a family that is strong.
She stresses that being a seamstress certainly won’t help. Being busy, you can’t see what’s happening around you so you don’t deal with the real issues that have to be prioritized. Spend quiet time, some reflection time to explore who you are as a person. Schedule some family-down-time. It could be a game night, a family dinner or a family discussion so you can create an environment of sharing.

Being a model, you try to look perfect. You want everybody outside your family to think that your family is perfect. You are wearing the role but you are not owning the role that you are wearing. And you’re always worried walking around that people will figure out you’re a fraud. You put pressure on yourself and family to be perfect and that pressure, you don’t need in your family. We should allow them to be them and be the best person they can be. Expecting everybody to be perfect just puts a lot of undue pressure. You’re keeping a lot of secrets and lies when admitting that there’s a problem and asking for help outside is the best possible thing that you can do.

Let your family team members be who they are. Let them tell you what they’re doing. Let them figure out who they are as people and don’t expect or tell them who you want them to be. Let them develop and know what they like, what they don’t like, their strengths and weaknesses. These will help solidify who they are as people and you’ll have a much closer family relationship.

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